It’s dark. Early morning. The glow from the screen is lighting my face and the small area around my hand that holds it.

I am glued the the flight tracker that monitors the plane. The plane holds a piece of my heart and it is on the other side of the world. 15 minutes till it lands. I can’t hold my breath for that long. I’ve tried. Instead, I am holding what is left of my heart and sending prayers.

I don’t think I have ever prayed so hard in my life like I have in the last 26 hours. Prayed so much that the prayer became more than a thought. It became physical. Tangible. It became water in my eyes and a force flowing out of me toward heaven and then to my piece of heart. I don’t know exactly where he was but I could see it finding him, encircling him. I prayed as if I had the power to move planes and people to my will. Maybe I did. “Please make your gate! Please be on time! Please ask for help. Please, please, please.”

And now you are almost there. 4 minutes.

Soon my prayers will start up again. Actually they have already started. I can feel them on my cheek and pillow. I am not sure if I have the stamina for this but I push through because it’s the only thing I can do. It’s the only power I have left. Thank God it’s a strong one.


In Body and In Spirit

Today was the first time in a long time that I was excited to get up to read scriptures. I used to be a “morning person”, but somewhere along the way, I think between the ages of 16 and 24, I became a night owl. Then I had my babies and I became a narcoleptic. Not really, but my best sleeping times seem to be between the hours of 5:30am to 10:00am. Just when everyone else is getting ready for the day, all I want to do is drift off to dreamland.

So back to scriptures, a few years ago our family just decided to just do it. The time that worked best for us was 6:30am. I promised the Mad Hatter that I would support him, so I try very hard not to complain, and I think for the most part I do fantastic at that, but you can see why I am not excited on the inside to get up for scriptures.


Last night, as a result of the “MONSTEROUS SNOWPOLCOLIPS” that hit Calgary, I thought it would be nice to read scriptures by a fire. I thought that it would feel cozy and would keep all of us awake or at least a little more alert while reading said scripture. The only problem is we don’t have a fireplace. Believe me it was on the list for purchasing a home, as was garage and dinning room, but sometimes one needs to compromise. So when you can’t have an actual fireplace, the next best think is a virtual one…right?

Enter in Netflix “fireplace for your home” episode. Can you believe they have that? Seems kind of silly, but I guess I am not the only one who needed to compromise.

I guess you can get virtual fireplaces on youtube too

And it worked. I am not saying a crackling fireplace is the “magic pill” for improving my families attitude, but it was a reminder that sometimes changing things up and preparing ourselves physically for insight spiritually is necessary. Didn’t Jesus feed the 5000 because he could see that their physical discomfort was interfering with their ability to understand the word? That and compassion.

I give this another week and I think I will have to change things up again. I will have to sock away the fireplace for another time. Slowly as we improve the physical, hopefully, the spiritual will come along with it. Almost anything is better than the scattered bodies hiding under blankets sleeping through the Mad Hatters readings, because that is what it has been since we moved. It also helps that we now have couches.

Getting Rad-i-fied

Last Saturday, the twiddles and I decided to get our run on. We signed up, whole family, back in February to do Colour Me Rad. It’s a fun run/walk where you colour bomb everyone. You get a shirt, sunglasses and some awesome temporary tattoos to complete the package. For Calgary, the course weaves up C.O.P to the top of the bob lead run and then down and around to the finish all the while clouds of coloured cornstarch is thrown around. There are certain colour stations that the people running the show toss their own supply at you. I think the only think that would make it better is if Cindy Lauper were there with here 80’s awesomeness.

Now this race is not about the time, it’s about the line. There is no pressure to run the fastest or be the best, unless you are a Kneelanderthal. It’s just to get people moving and have the most fun while doing it.

Sadly, the Mad Hatter wasn’t able to join us. He had Bishopy things to do. His priorities were in the right place even though we missed him. My friend Bonnie joined us and she was such a trooper having never done this before. She might even to it again.




my phone in the protective ziplock being carried where I can only carry it when my hands are full. I am still a sherpa even during a race


I swear my kids got all my swagger and I have nothing left. NOTHING.



We met up near the end of the race with Lisa, Matt, Brendan, Nadia and Q. Lisa managed to snap some pictures which are in this post. Thanks so much because apparently every picture I took had my plastic protective ziplock in it and since I couldn’t see because the sun was too bright. Just so you know adjusting the brightness requires being able to see the phone to make it brighter so I was snapping willy nilly and a ziplock.



First Day of School

We are almost 2 months in school and I haven’t posted their first day of school pictures…until now.

This is the last year that all 3 will be at the same school. It’s like the end of an era. Really for Tweedle D it is. Barring some major incident, he will be moving on to High School. That’s right. HIGH SCHOOL. How did this happen?



There is still a lot (everything) I don’t know about the camera I own, or photography in general. I would like this to be crisper but I fear my children vibrate too much and even with a image stabilizing lens often we get blurry photos.

I think in the next picture I was playing with the settings and they are quite overexposed, even with some enhancing, they are quite pale.


Back to eras, Tweedle E is starting Junior High (middle school for my ‘merican friends). He is actually having a Great Year. Just had an informal meeting with his Humanities teacher and he is doing fantastic. I mean really FANTASTIC! But she has to be on him like “flies to poop”. Her words not mine. Anyway it’s working.

So this next picture is an attempt at a “Band Shot”. I guess the boys have a different idea of what that means. The two older Tweedles are posing for an album cover while the youngest Tweedle is playing the violin. I LOVE HIM.


Tweedle 3 is at School all day now. I miss him, sometimes. I also like having most of my day, but I am still having a hard time negotiating my way through it. The first week, I was exhausted and I actually napped almost every day. I needed it , but felt really guilty. I hate guilt. I am not using my time wisely, mostly because I am suffering from “so much to do, so little time syndrome.” I hope I will be able to come up with a schedule that works for me.

Tweedle 3 is really enjoying school right now. He loves staying for lunch, loves reading, loves writing, and loves math. He loves all of it.

My next picture is a bit weird. I am not sure what I said to make them pose this way. I think it means that they think school will make them Zombies.


Museum of Science and Industry

First day In Chicago we spent 5 hours at the Museum of Science and Industry. 5 hours and we didn’t even see everything.


We saw weather, made tsunamis, and storm chased.


We even lost a kid, but we found him and all was right with world again. He was pretty shaken up though. We lost him by this Newtons Cradle.


But didn’t realize we had lost him till we got just past the Tesla Coil. Thank goodness for cousin John, because I probably wouldn’t have noticed till much later. It had already been 20-30 min since we were at the cradle.


I’ll take my mother of the year award now. After we found the boy (who was safely sobbing at security), we moved to another section where they have gigantic planes and trains. They also have a model of the train ride we took to Chicago.


More of that to come, but see everyone is happy. Bet you can’t guess who we lost.

Banana Oatmeal Pancakes

Breakfast is hard for me. It’s hard for my family. I believe in breakfast but I’m not awake and not hungry. Neither are the boys, except for Tweedle D, he is always hungry. I’ve also noticed what my kids eat for breakfast really affects their focus at school and their ability to tolerate the day. This sucks, because it’s so easy to give them chocolate hazelnut spread or hand them a box of cereal and let them “make breakfast”.

So in my divine quest to feed my children better and make breakfast, we have tried some new things.  We have tried baked oatmeal, which is liked best out of all the oatmeals, but receives about a 3 out of 5 on the likeness scale. That will do once in a while, but it’s also important that my kids actually get the food in their bellies so I like to go with proven winners. This is where Banana Oatmeal Pancakes come in. They are quicker than french toast, gluten free, refined sugar free, and depending on the milk/ yogurt you use it can be dairy free. It has 3 eggs so it has a the protein needed to help my boys feel fuller and stay focused through the day. I got the recipe from here. She has the cute pictures if you need to see how they look. She also has many recipes that are fantastic so I would recommend checking her out anyway. Here is the recipe.

1Cup Milk (I use silk almond milk, but you can use what you have)

1/2 Cup Greek yogurt (I use whatever I have on hand even if it is flavoured)

2 Tablespoons Lemon juice

3 Large Eggs

1 teaspoon Vanilla

1 Banana

2 cups Large Flake Oats

1 Tablespoon Chia Seeds

1 Tablespoon Honey

1/2 Teaspoon Sea Salt (or whatever salt you have on hand)

1/2 Teaspoon  Baking Soda

2 Teaspoon Baking Powder

Place all ingredients, except the last 3, in a blender (I have a crappy one and this still works) and let it run. Then add the salt, baking soda and baking powder and give it a quick blend. In the past I’ve put it all in at the same time and it still worked. Cook on a hot griddle and stay close by because these seem to cook faster than normal pancakes. At least the cook faster at my house. Top with yogurt berries or maple syrup. Delicious. Each pancake, if you make the smaller ones is roughly 90 calories. The batch I made this morning made 16 but they were not all the same size. Close. Thats why it’s roughly 90 calories.


IMG_1039 - Version 2

This is my boy. My Eldest. He is turning into such a young man. A few days ago he turned 14 and I am shocked at how quickly the time passes. We moved to the block we live on almost 12 years ago. He is one more year from High School. He is 4 more years from being eligible for a mission. There is so much growing that needs to happen in the next 4 years. So much I need to teach him, but I’m confident he’ll get it. If there is anything he seems to be good at, it is church.

Sure he has other talents and abilities. He likes to cook. He is good with kids. Against his will he has a skill with french. He loves sports and is eager to try new things. Now I just got to get him focused on school. It will take some work. What doesn’t take work, in the sense of physical effort (cause we all have to make time), is the gospel, the gospel comes naturally to him. It makes it nice and I wonder how did I get so lucky to have such a good example come to my family. It makes trusting him so much easier too.

For his birthday we told him we would help him get his learners permit. I used to be uncomfortable with the idea of teens on the road, but not with him. I know he will do good.

As I look at the above picture, I remember him getting ready for priesthood session with Opa, husband, and uncle.  In the picture he is wearing my grandfather’s tie. He likes to wear it. It makes him feel close even though he was young when he passed. He wears a tie pin that was my father’s from his mission he served in California. He comes from a great line of faithful men on both sides. That’s quite a legacy. In keeping with this legacy, today, he advanced in the priesthood. He was ordained, by his father, to the office of teacher. As I understand it, this means a little more responsibility with the sacrament, and serving people. He is excited and nervous to be a home teacher. So am I, for him. He is on the cusp of something great.


my kids are funny…

…and weird, but they come by that honestly. Take tonight for instance. We got home late, like we do every tuesday (stalkers, ignore this) and I was trying to get the boys to bed.

“Hurry get your pyjamas on!”, I say. “Don’t forget to whisper, because Amy has had a particularly heinous day.”,  I continue. She lives and sleeps downstairs right under the boys room.

When they finally come out, they ask me, “Why are you not in your pyjamas mom?”

I reply, “Because I am tired and I want to get you to bed as soon as possible.”

“You should get them on so you can go to be right after prayers.”, they say. And I couldn’t argue with their logic, so I did.

As I came out they were behaving kinda weird and quietly giggly. Tweedle J had his button up p.j. shirt undone and exposing his chest. He looks at me intently and says, “Right this way miss.” while sweeping his arm in the direction he wanted me to go. Quizzically and obediently I follow his direction, which brought me by the computer.

Tweedle D is sitting in the office chair with the back facing me and turns, while petting the back of his stuffed bunny and says, “We have been waiting for you miss.” Such seriousness. He hold his composure a little better than the five year old.

As soon as Tweedle D is finished his line, Tweedle E comes from around the corner holding a glass and says, “Drink miss.”

Well of course I take the water, but I can’t help but feel there is a joke coming at my expense, especially because they are intently watching me to see if I’ll drink it. The first thing that flashes to my mind, was the last incident when someone played a drinking trick on me. To make a long story short they made me think it was a urine sample (when in fact it was apple juice). Joker drinks it, I gag.

Anyway, how could they know and so I utter, “Is this pee?”

I ruined it, but Tweedle D managed to stay in character, “How can you say such things when you are in the house of the gods? We only wish to serve you.”

***End Scene***

Not bad for a little improv.



Some of the best times we have had involved a playground. There was our engagement photo shoot. Then there were all the sanity saving, time killing times of toddlerhood. Thank God for the long and short chains parks. They were our favourite. I don’t chase the tweedles as much anymore, but I still know how to have a good time.





and just to prove I was there…