21 weeks

Tomorrow it will be 21 weeks since my accident. That is over 5 months. I have good days and bad. I get discouraged because sometimes it seems like I’m slipping back. Maybe it’s time to count my blessings:

1. I can walk, although if I stand for long periods of time or walk great distances I hurt, but I can walk.

2. I didn’t need surgery. I think this significantly helped in the healing process

3. My bone is completely healed

4. Had my first fall on the ice and the world didn’t shatter. Mind you I fell on my right leg and it’s sore.

5. I have a husband who is trying to support me in my exercises. He comes downstairs with me so I’m not lonely. We only have one bosu ball so he can’t do it with me, but he will wait for me to finish before going to bed.

I am sure there are more.

Currently I am doing squats (3 sets of 10) both on the floor and on the bosu ball.

Then I do 1 legged squats (3 sets of 10) both legs on also on the floor and bosu.

The important thing about the squats is not to push your knees past your toes and to stick your but out. If I have knee pain I am to stop. PAIN FREE RANGE OF MOTION is my new mantra. I tend to power through so this is harder than you think.I think they are trying to prevent patellofemoral pain or syndrome.  After those I do what I call a kick back to stimulate my Gluteus Maximus. Its a small movement straight legged from the hip down (3 sets of 10) both legs. Don’t want one cheek larger than the other. I kind of feel like a dance when I am doing it. Then with a band around both legs I get in a squatting position, butt out, upper body low, and sideways walk while stay low in the squat. I so 30 of these as well. Truthfully I could do more and probably should. Then I do bridges/ pelvic lifts/whatever. I go up for 5 second, then down slowly. I do that 30 times as well. All of these exercises are to stimulate my butt and strengthen my muscles around my knee. It feels much slower than I thought it would be. I should be running but I can’t. 😦 Anyway enough whining. One good thing out of this is my butt is going to look fantastic!

14 weeks

That doesn’t seem that long, but it sure feels like it. If my break were a fetus, I’d be through the first trimester. I seriously don’t know why I keep comparing this to pregnancy, it really isn’t anything like it (other than the fact that I can’t walk totally normal, and the I’m measuring time in weeks). Oh yeah and my hips hurt.

It’s also been 7 weeks since I have been mobile and weight bearing. Friday will be my last “free” physio appointment. I can almost bend my leg back to the point of grabbing it. I suspect some of my extra weight and atrophied flesh might have something to do with the inability to get it all the way back. Really it’s not as bad as it sounds, but every little bit has an affect.

Last week I had a follow up at the cast clinic. The bone Dr. said everything looks healed the plateau is nice and smooth. He is sure I won’ t have arthritis. He says he doesn’t need to see me again. So yay. I guess everything is going according to schedule bone wise. 3 months to heal is what the inter web says and thats where I am at.

Strength will be another story. I have been walking a lot, mostly because I don’t want to pay for gas, but my leg is back to hurting all the time. I have also progressed to exercises that need special equipment so I am caught between the do I go buy the equipment so I can do this at home, or do I get a gym membership/ pass to use their equipment. Neither route is cheap and with starting to pay for physio, we could be eating peanut butter and jam sandwiches for the next month or so. It is my knee, and although they are replaceable, I am kind of attached to this one so I need to suck it up and spend the money. I hate spending money, well large amounts of money that I had no clue I was going to have to spend 3 months ago.

Enough about money. Now the symptoms (lack of a better word) and progression

Sleeping is getting better, sometimes. I still use a pillow to align my body properly. Right now I am laid up with a magic bag as I think I may have over exerted myself with my workout and extensive walking. I will probably have to roll out my quad tonight. I am also experiencing pain occasionally that comes on unexpected while walking. It tends to be located over or just below the break site. It’s a twinge and then an ache that gets worse until I get off my leg. If I don’t get pain there then I get pain along the front of my tibia below the centre of my knee.

I can kind of squat. It’s a weird lopsided squat. What usually ends up happening if I have to get low. It usually starts out as a try to squat, but then end up sitting down because it’s still uncomfortable and sometimes painful.

Running isn’t an option yet. When I try to move quickly my muscles don’t remember what to do, and the strength isn’t there to absorb the impact yet. It’s quite awkward.

I can get on all 4s but I cannot kneel due to my limited range of motion. I think now that my bone is healed I should look into yoga. I might try asking the PT next time. Also need to ask out deep water or shallow water exercise.

If I am in pain, elevating my leg and heating or icing tends to help. At night when it does hurt I take a tylenol. If it going to hurt too much to sleep I take Advil nighttime. That stuff is amazing, but I don’t like the way I feel in the morning, because I am pretty groggy at 6:30am. It takes a while for the fog to lift. I suspect that if I could wake at 8:30 or 9:00am I’d be fine. Also you don’t want to take it for more than 5 days in a row. It tends to have depressive side affects if taken over a long period of time. Because of how slow the progression  and mentally taxing this break is one should probably avoid depressive side affects.

I will post my exercises later as I seem to have misplaced my papers in a quick clean up for some unexpected company. It’s probably downstairs in the office.

I only share my progress as a way of getting information out there as well as to document progress. Sometimes it’s hard to see how far you have come. When I look up my fracture there isn’t much in the way of timelines or therapies, especially in the kind of TPF that I have. I was lucky in that it was non-diplaced and my ligaments seem to be fine. Don’t hate me. However, it is still a difficult long hall and many times I have moments of frustration and doubt. when I read that 2 years out some are not back to normal it gets hard. I thought if I documented my journey someone else may gain hope or peace of mind. They may also share what worked for them. If you came here because you too have a TPF you have my sympathy. God speed your recovery and may you get the best outcome possible.

 

 

Plateau

I haven’t been on here for a while. I’d like to say it’s because I have been off galavanting around doing the most fun things and then falling into bed exhausted too tired to write. But I haven’t. I can’t. The summer began quickly. On July 1st the family borded a plane to NY to visit my sister and take in all the sites we could cram in the next week or so. We splashed in the atlantic, saw a lighthouse, walked central park, took the subway, went to the Met (museum), top of the rocked, bottom of the rocked, coney islanded, port jeffersoned, battery parked, 4th of julyed, 5th of julyed. It was fast, it was busy and when we got of the plane in Calgary it felt like we hadn’t even gone. That is where the Galavanting ended.

Shortly after our return home, I was feeling sluggish and piggish and decided to go for a quick run before taking the kids to swimming lessons. 3/4 of the way in, I took a tumble. Leg broken (I think it’s my tibial plateau) and mobility compromised. I was told six weeks-ish and that is tomorrow. I don’t see the doctor for another week though and from what I have read, 7 weeks isn’t really long enough. Ugh. I really wonder why they call us patients because honestly I don’t have any. I make a terrible shut in and have moments of intense self pity. Those mostly come when I am by myself and thinking about how my body will never be the same. Will I run again? Can I ride a bike?

The worst part is, when anyone asks me what happened, I realize more and more how in the dark I am about my condition. As I said earlier I think it’s the tibial plateau, but I don’t know for sure. I haven’t even seen the x-rays. I feel stupid. Now I am also scared and nervous. In one week what are they going to say? Questions come well after the initial appointment and there is no one to ask. What if they were wrong? what if it’s slightly displaced and I have to start all over? What kind of time table am I looking at for healing? Will there be physio? Do I schedule that with my family doc? How far should I be able to bend my knee? I don’t really think in my state of mind right now I can take bad news.

The worst news would be starting all over. Bad news would be keep doing what I’m doing (no driving, no getting out, basically sit in my house all day). One, no matter how strong they are, can’t get very far on crutches with no weight baring. I need to be able to drive. My job needs it, my mental state needs it and my family needs it.

I have a list of things I want to do when I can get around more. I want to get my eyebrows waxed and my hair done. It’s been a while and I feel kind of shaggy. I also want to be able to put on pants. Summer is almost over and it gets cold quick here.

I try to think positively, and the more I am around people, the more that is possible. Unless they are my kids who are so bored and all they do is fight, then I am pitiful. I try to remind myself that it could be worse. I am grateful it’s not winter. I am grateful my new house doesn’t have as many stairs. Yes I have a new house, but the shine of it has been shadowed by my leg. As far as I know, my ligaments are fine. I also have a husband that is very patient and my boys are having to learn how to do things. Thinking positively is hard. I am beyond the why me stage, but the monotony of this knocks me a little lower each day. Maybe I need a new book to read.

Getting Rad-i-fied

Last Saturday, the twiddles and I decided to get our run on. We signed up, whole family, back in February to do Colour Me Rad. It’s a fun run/walk where you colour bomb everyone. You get a shirt, sunglasses and some awesome temporary tattoos to complete the package. For Calgary, the course weaves up C.O.P to the top of the bob lead run and then down and around to the finish all the while clouds of coloured cornstarch is thrown around. There are certain colour stations that the people running the show toss their own supply at you. I think the only think that would make it better is if Cindy Lauper were there with here 80’s awesomeness.

Now this race is not about the time, it’s about the line. There is no pressure to run the fastest or be the best, unless you are a Kneelanderthal. It’s just to get people moving and have the most fun while doing it.

Sadly, the Mad Hatter wasn’t able to join us. He had Bishopy things to do. His priorities were in the right place even though we missed him. My friend Bonnie joined us and she was such a trooper having never done this before. She might even to it again.

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my phone in the protective ziplock being carried where I can only carry it when my hands are full. I am still a sherpa even during a race

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I swear my kids got all my swagger and I have nothing left. NOTHING.

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We met up near the end of the race with Lisa, Matt, Brendan, Nadia and Q. Lisa managed to snap some pictures which are in this post. Thanks so much because apparently every picture I took had my plastic protective ziplock in it and since I couldn’t see because the sun was too bright. Just so you know adjusting the brightness requires being able to see the phone to make it brighter so I was snapping willy nilly and a ziplock.

 

 

My House Hunting meltdown is over…for now.

Husband has asked me to stop looking at the MLS system. It seems I have been a little hard to live with. I should probably stop listening to the news as well because they seem to either think there is an unsustainable bubble in the housing prices or that it’s so healthy that this will last a long time. In the meantime quotations of how this time is so like the market in 2006 are everywhere and well I can’t do anything about it.

I had faith, when I started, that my short laundry list of wishes would be met. Hey if anyone could do it God could do it. Lets just say my faith wavered and to protect my heart I need to listen to my husband. There is nothing I can do for the next while anyway.

Instead I will have a meltdown of a new kind. The in-laws are coming and I have been trying for the last week to get my kids to clean. Apparently I am a push over because they just kinda shrug me off and go about their business (games and tv ) as if I didn’t say a thing. I dole out punishments and take stuff away and still the house is a mess. I normally scream and yell into submission but that isn’t working and supposedly I gave yelling up for Lent. Ugh when is Easter? Stress Level is back to high now. Seriously though how did this happen? I used to wield so much power and now everything I say is taken like a suggestion, including when to eat.

Actually I have almost given up on having a clean house and decided that my in-laws will love me in spite of my children and my house. They have to, they are stuck with me. Actually they don’t have to, that too can be taken as a suggestion, but they are stuck with me.

One day, I will look back on this time and think man what was my problem? Or hopefully I will laugh. Sooner rather than later would be nice but maybe to help the way along I should take down a lucky nickel or quarter and use it in vegas. Gambling is so against every cell in my body but a quarter or a nickel wouldn’t hurt? Would it? I guess you can ask me again when I enter rehab.

Oh yeah, Husband and I are going to vegas soon. We have been married 16 years (that went fast) Gretchen Rubin says “the days are long, but the years are short” It’s so true, especially this week. Silly spring break has been hijacked by a persistent winter so the days have been terribly long and with that unproductive due to the aforementioned shrugging off of responsibilities. Don’t you just wish that sometimes you could give up all responsibilities? Perhaps this is my midlife crisis or my terrible coping mechanism to stress. Maybe I should take up running 😛 Again or better.

Clearly this is a stream of consciousness entry so maybe I should just end here before I say something stupid.

 

john and kate + 7? (why i run saturday)

It’s amazing how quick weather can change around here. Like last week we were all running in shorts and climbing in crabapple trees. This week were were just praying that our run wouldn’t happen in a torrential downpour that had been threatening us since Monday. Here is a shot of last week.

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Doesn’t Lady N look so cute in her running dress? I’m wondering if it would be worth it to get one. Our summers are so brief and last year I think it was only warm enough to wear shorts on 3 maybe 4 runs. I’m also liking the lululemon two tone run swiftly T on Lady J, but I got a lot of Ts. Right now I’m wearing my women’s only run t-shirt from my 10K race 2 weeks ago. Yeah, not my best run.

Anyway…

Today, as luck would have it, the dawn broke over the horizon and the rain stopped. We were able have a pleasant yet cool run. We ran almost the same route we did last week, minus a hill and a crabapple tree in the middle. We saw the remains of a multiple house fire that we saw smouldering last week (such a sad story) and we got to see lots of Canada Geese.

Here is a shot from this weeks run. It comes from my running friend Jen, who got Lady N to risk her life to take that picture. I can use Jen’s name because there are a million Jens and I happen to collect them. I think I am just short of 900,000 in my possession.

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Sooo, who know Geese could be so vicious? Actually I did, but only because I had heard about it before. I had never seen a goose attack. Here is a “little” geese family. Well since Jon and Kate were out with their Goslings (Too soon? Oh well Kate’s the one on the left) we got hissed at as we ran past them. Which brings me to my next question, Who knew geese can hiss? Kate made it plainly clear that we were not welcome, so Lady J (who has experienced a goose attack) and I kept running, whilst the others in our entourage got a picture.

Oh the adventures we have so early in the morning. You see things.

well i was fast today.

I don’t know if it was because of what I ate yesterday, or the training I did during the week. I know it couldn’t have been because of a good nights sleep because I haven’t had one of those in about a week. Perhaps I drank my vega at precisely the right time. What I really think it is (in combination with one of the above or more), is that I am right ticked off about my Easter plans getting all screwed up. If this is really true then race day someone needs to TICK ME OFF. Sadly, my run was perfect for my legs but not long enough for my agitation. I had to put myself in time out.

you are what you eat.

Lately my legs and knees (especially the left one) have been quite achy. I can’t say that it’s really because I have been doing a whole lot, because I haven’t. I want to, but the timing is all wrong. I’m still working out bugs in my schedule. Anyway, I have taken it easier these last three weeks (aside from the long run on saturday) but my legs wake up sore and get worse through the day.

It could be a number of things really. It could be the extra 8 lbs I’m carrying. It could be that my shoes aren’t supportive enough. Or, it could be my diet. Actually it could be a combination of all three and more, but I can’t help but wonder if what I am eating could be causing inflammation and consequently pain. I am currently 23 days without a caffeinated or diet beverage so yay me, but my sugar intake has increased. I have also noticed that the last 2 days I have consumed a lot of tomatoes which are night shade vegetables. Normally this wouldn’t bother me but my knee is acting up again and when I see joint pain and nightshades  together I get a little concerned. I am thinking of trying an elimination diet, but I need to read up on how to do that.

I remember a time that I could eat anything I wanted and seemingly there was no consequence, but now I really see my body holding me accountable. It always will.

sorry no pictures.

This past Saturday was a hard one. Goal 14k. I was feeling good at around 6k. Good energy, good flow, running was getting easy, but at about 9 it was really hard. It didn’t helped that I overdressed. I could have stopped, but I didn’t. On the final hill, all leg muscles firing, burning really, I thought about walking, but I couldn’t be the only one so I didn’t. Pride can be useful sometimes. It can keep us from quitting when normally we would. Thanks to my ladies I finished. And that is what matters. Next week: 16K