Thoughts

Sometimes I wonder what I would do if one of my three beautiful son came out to me and told me they were Gay. They haven’t given me any inclination that they are, its just something I have thought about.

For those of you who don’t know I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (a mormon) and recently they have been under the microscope for various political reasons. Nothing big just prop 8 and a presidential election. Because of these incidences and others (I had a member friend come out to me a few years ago) I have become more aware of heart breaking stories of Gay members who have suffered and taken their lives because their desires are in conflict with what they have been taught. It is so sad. So very sad.

Today, my cousin Kevin Kloosterman, posted another obituary. It honestly breaks my heart.

As I look at my boys, I remember what it was like to hold them for the first time. I remember how frightened I was that I would be responsible for another human being. I worried that I might break them.

As I hold them now we talk of the future and what it will be like. We talk about what it takes to be a good dad, what they will do for a career, missions, and their roll in the gospel. I have hopes and dreams for them. I want them to be happy. I want them to find love. I want for them to know they are loved. I want them to know that God loves them.

So as I read these stories I wonder. I wonder what I would do. I’ve actually thought about it for years and I think I know what I would do. First of all it takes great courage to admit something that might disappoint your parents, so I would hug him. I would tell him I loved him. We might cry, because it will be hard. His future would be hard. I would cry later in my room for the loss of a future that I had hoped for him. I would ask questions, and try to understand. There is so much I don’t know about these things.

Next I would like to think I would support him in as many ways as I can. I would love him and then I would hope that would be enough.

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3 thoughts on “Thoughts

  1. I wonder the same thing. And, like you, I would still love him, and also mourn the loss of the future for which I had hoped. I have so many questions on this subject and turn it around in my mind a lot lately. Big heavy stuff.

  2. It is something I have thought a lot about, and I would like to think that I will be approachable to my child. That he will feel he CAN come to me and tell me this. And I will do the same. I will hug him and tell him I love him and I’m so glad he told this to me. And then I will be honest with him and say this will be hard for me, but no matter what, I love him and want the best for him and will support him the best I can. I really do think the most important thing any parent can do is just plain love their child and keep loving them, no matter what.

  3. My darling friend….remember that you have only a finite mind attempting to understand an infinite plan with an infinite God. God is love. God loves us exactly as we are. God created us exactly as we are. You struggle because you have a internal conflict between what you know God is….which is complete LOVE….and what you are being told God is by the church as an organization. Listen to the Spirit. I know that is hard to take…just follow your heart and all that love you have for your little boys. It may not be homosexuality that your sons will discuss with you, but it will definitely be something. If you always love them, unconditionally, then everything will work out. In my opinion, and you know my bias, it is better for our children to know that we love them more than we love an organization. Also remember that what you understand today will be added upon until you have a complete understanding.

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