The Other Side

Seriously do I only come here to complain? I am a happy person, honestly. I do happy things things, but then I don’t post them or I think I do happy things but then don’t post them and consequently forget them. How sad.

Unfortunately, today I am sad. Again. I don’t think its a depression for I don’t remember waking sad and yesterday I was not sad. Exhausted, but not sad. My sad is for a loss. No one was died, but it sometimes feels that way. If I had the courage I might actually write this letter, but courage fails me now. I am afraid if I write this letter it will make things worse and I will lose even more.

Dear Friend

People are aloud to make their own choices and choose their own path. I understand that in theory, but I am human and I had dreams. Sure they were not YOUR dreams, and you never knew about them, so how can you be held accountable. I’m pretty sure my dreams that included you were not within my jurisdiction so again how can you be held accountable. And yes those dreams were very unlikely so what’s the big deal right? The big deal was they were happy hopeful dreams and they were possible up until moments ago and now they are not.

You are right. Its your life. I am not denying that. I’m not even going to fight you about it, because no matter what I will say it won’t make a difference. at least not right now. But you will have to excuse me if I don’t jump for joy at your decision. What you may have forgotten is the journey that brought you to this point was a process that took months, maybe even years. It may have been a painful one too, but you have wrestled and come out on the other side. I only heard it a short time ago and I too need to process.

I said you could tell me anything and I stand by that. I will still love you. I will still listen to your Journey, because that is what friends do. Thats what family does, but if it hurts me you cannot fault me for that. Remember my dreams. They died just moments ago and I am grieving, I am grieving because I care.

Love Me






5 thoughts on “The Other Side

  1. Sorry for your hurt, whatever it is. I don’t mean that the way it sounds. I mean, sorry for the lost dream, whatever it was. And I also know it’s hard to (remember to) post the happy things. Hope more happy things come your way soon.

  2. Aw.
    Thankfully you have an outlet. Smart choice….writing. I have been on the other side when I voice my opinion….and lose contact over it. It’s a difficult choice.
    Hang in there.

  3. That’s tough. It’s hard to lose your dreams and it’s hard to realize how much of an effect other people’s decisions can change our future. Your friend is lucky to have you and I hope that the two of you can regain some of what you had months or years ago. I hope things pick up for you soon.

  4. 😦

    it’s so hard to balance hopes, dreams, expectations when someone else must do part of the reaching. i am on the other side of this… having dashed hopes, dreams and expectations of others. if your friend is aware of your feelings, and is truly your friend, they must feel tremendous responsibility for letting others down. for letting you down.

    life is so difficult because everyone is so connected. i hope you can come to peace about your friend, and that your friend is motivated by the right things. and i’m sorry you are hurting.

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