Profound words from a blue fish. When things get dark and you don’t know what to to do, sometimes all you can do is “just keep swimming.”
It is sometimes hard to remember that “this too shall pass”, especially when we are in the “why does it have to happen in the first place?” place. Its easy to get caught up in the, I hate my house, why are my kids h*!!- bent on failing school? Why are government cutbacks ruining it for children with special needs everywhere? Why is it snowing yet again? Where did this mountain of laundry come from? Why am I so cold?
Just so you know my kids don’t want to fail, they just cannot get there acts together to hand in assignments… or finish them completely. So we have to spend the one day off that Mr. Wonderful has, doing nothing but homework. In the past month I have received two phone calls and an email for one child and had meetings, emails, Dr. appointments and assessments for the other. It can be seriously draining.
My problems are really not that big. I am not fighting government oppression, I am not buried under a pile of rubble. I really am quite blessed. I live in a relatively safe neighbourhood, my family is healthy and we have sufficient for our needs. But they are real. Often it seems I am like that guy who is pushing against that rock that will not budge. Is it not budging because I need to learn something? Is it making me stronger? or Am I kicking against the pricks? Am I stuck where I am because of poor decisions? Is it groundhog day? And why does it seem that NO ONE else is going through this?
I am working through some of these questions and really trying to solve the kid thing. We have some options. If things don’t pan out there might be some drastic changes coming our way. I am not really prepared to discuss them here as I am not ready for trolls to come out and tell me how unreasonable I am being. I am also not ready to accept that some of these changes will mean a huge sacrifice on my part. Change is hard. All I can do is “just keep swimming.”