Seems that I am on a textile theme today. The title may lead you to believe that this post is about “what not to wear”, but I assure you it is not. It is of a more serious nature. Yah right!
Whilst the Scotts and Our family were camping, Mr. Wonderful and Mr. Scott came upon a log of wood that looked like an anatomically* correct male pair of pants. The rareness of such a find led us to save the “pants” for a ceremonial burning on Saturday night.
After Dinner and after smores we built the fire high and hot. We shared ghost stories. In between the ghost stories one of us was to tell a story of how the pants came to be.
There was a story of the demise of one Obi-wan-pinoccio. He wasn’t a real boy after all but he had the force. He became a jedi and fought battle droids but alas young Obi-wan-pinoccio went out in a blaze of glory and all that is left of him were his pants. He was to burned as some Jedi are.
There was a story of a magical pair of pants, that if worn could make one invisible. These pants had more than just invisibility powers for the person who donned said pants. The wear had an inexplicable ability to control anyone else who was wearing pants. Because of this great and disturbing power, the One pair to rule them all had to be burned in the fires of
Mordor I mean Crandall.
Finally the story of an unhappy man who liked to scare little children, came into some knowledge of some old magic that made him more powerful. Because of this power he was able to make young Tweedle E fall from the truck and caused many of the hurtful things that happened while we were camping. He was able to do this because he had turned the wood elves and fairies to his power. Luckily an old wise wizard knew more and was able to trap him in a tree. Then he was cut into pieces. Each piece was hidden far from the other so as not to be reunited. For should the pieces be reunited and the spell said, there would be a resurrection of sorts and he continue doing evil. The old wise wizard would have burned him, himself but he was being hunted by the turned wood elves and imps. He only had time to hide the pieces so that later he could return to give them a proper burning. Unfortunately the old wizard died and was therefore unable to complete his task. It is now our responsibility to complete his mission.
And with that being said we placed the pants on the fire and chanted “BURN HIM! BURN HIM!” I’m sure the other campers were wondering what was going on as it was 10:30 at night. The strange thing though was the pants took a long time to catch fire and when they finally did a huge flame burt forth. Crazy!
*anatomical was more like a Ken doll than elephant pajamas.