Parting Is such Sweet Sorrow (an Obituary of sorts)

It is with much sadness that we report the passing of our 1999 Dodge Caravan. After suffering at least a year with electrical cancer our much loved van was taken off insurance yesterday and donated to the Kidney car foundation.

The van is survived by Alyson, Mr. Wonderful, the Tweedles 3, and a Black Eagle Vision Sedan. Van came into our life a few years ago and we don’t know much of its past. But it has been our constant companion, carrying us to new places for the past few years. With fondness we will always remember our trips to Waterton, Edmonton, Cardston, Raymond, and East End Saskatchewan. Those trips were made brighter and easier for the van having been there.

Dear Van,

Know that we enjoyed our trips. We enjoyed the comfort you supplied, the ease of separation of children, and the praticality for shopping. You will be missed and not easily replaced

The Wonderland Family.

I’m Buying….if only

Chicken Abuse

I think we sang this for an hour this morning:

I had a little chicken,

that wouldn’t lay an egg.

So I ran hot water up and down his leg.

I ran hot water up and down his leg.

The darn old chicken laid a boiled egg.

A boiled egg, a boiled egg,

The darn old chicken laid a boiled egg.

 

Other versions

Crayon – Coloured egg

Beater – Scrambled egg

Hot oil – Fried egg

Bunny – Easter egg

Coco bean – Chocolate egg

 

And brand new:

Hunter – Poached egg

The New Commandments

So recently the Pope came out with a new list of deadly sins. Among them are genetic engineering, pollution, tolerating poverty, and being obscenely rich. I know the environment is important and religious leaders have felt that that they have to take a stand for what is “right”, but the world already has huge problems with the original list. I just think its a ploy to get people with what is trendy now. Just hope your stocks don’t do well or you may go to h*** 

Voldemart, Spears, Activist. (Not in that order)

Dear Associated Press,

So word on the street is Jamie-lynn Spears is preggers. This story made the front page of the news here in calgary. My husband argues that the particular paper is not a news paper. My point is that there are some many stories out there that we should know about and this story made the cover. Its not news. Yes the Spears family has issues, we all do. Lets move on.

***********

Funny things heard recently:Walmart was referred to as “the store that should not be named.” “Voldemart” and lastly by my son,  ”you know where.”

***********

I am trying to find a compromise, unsuccessfully, between a tidy house and lowering my carbon foot print. Right now we only recycle pop bottles/ cans, water bottles, juice boxes etc. We do that because you can get money for it and that is how we are raising funds for our trip to Disneyland. But that is all we do, everything else deemed as trash goes into the trash. I used to be much better at this but life got in the way, the junk piled up and I went insane.

Each time I throw away an eggshell, the word “compost” flashes in my brain. I throw out junk mail or cereal boxes and “recycle” strobes across my mind. I know what I do is wrong but at the same time my sanity cannot be compromised for the planet. For a clean home makes for a calm family that will live to see another day on this planet.

I know better for this is why I went to school, but I continue to chuck. Until I can find a better way I guess I will still chuck. Help!

 PS. I live in about 900 square feet of livable space with 3 children in a two bedroom basement suite. There isn’t any outside space to expand too. Really.

  

The Leader Likes Me The Best

There is an episode of the “Simpsons” (I think) that Mr. wonderful always refers to where the townspeople are in a cult and someone gets spit upon (or something, my mind isn’t very accurate these days). Anyway, the person shouts “The leader likes me the best.” Well I’ve been puked on and peed on twice this morning and it all happened befor 8:30am. I guess we have a new leader and he likes me the best.

One Of Those Moods Again

It’s no cow bell, but I find it funny.

Not A Square To Spare

I know this has been all over the entertainment news, but in case you haven’t heard (because you are without radio, TV or Amish) check it out here. In her defense she came out with this.

But I ask you is this really possible? Would you ration your squares to save the planet. Would you go down from 3-ply to 2-ply or even 1? I know I have mentioned in the past that toilet paper is very important to me. Kitcat has the best toilet paper in the land (at least she did when she lived in Calgary) Unfortunately, I cannot remember the brand. If I could remeber the brand I’d probably stock up on my years supply for I’m tender and I don’t like being dirty. However, am I being selfish? Will my children or grandchildren have to suffer for my comfort?

When I was younger my mother got a deal on this brown recycled scratchy stuff. It also came in pink. Anyway it was awful and not very absorbant if you get my meaning, but it was a necessity because things were tight. Plus 5 girls use way more than 5 boys its just a fact of life anatomy, and lazyness. Trust me I do the laundry. So if I have boys, can I rationalize the use of the premium brand?

I could cut down on the use of paper towels and kleenex. I could get my parents to stop their subscription to the paper. I could plant a tree. I could use cloth diapers; they aren’t as bad as they used to be. Right? or I could just ignor it all and maintain the status quo. Lots of decisions to make. Thank you Miss crow for opening my mind to the possibilities. Like I didn’t already have enough to think about.

PS. Kitcat I could really use that brand name. Thanks

Dear Mighty Universe…

It has been said if you don’t ask for it, you won’t get it. So here I am with my little “prayer” sending vibes out into the universe. I got my diaperbag on Saturday complete with little Eiffel Tower Key Chain. Now that that is done here is what else I would like.

1. New chairs for the kitchen, the ones we have are falling apart. No I don’t want your crappy second hand chairs, Thats what got me here in the first place.

2. A three bedroom abode with 1.5 bathrooms and a fenced yard. I’ll take more bedrooms and bathrooms if the price is right. I’m just trying not to be greedy.

3. A mulligan on the spring break. I want it to come with nice weather instead of snow, snow, and more snow. So that I could have done something fun with my kids instead of making crappy memories. I’m thinking of pretending I am Catholic to take this next week off too. If the weather is better this next week I’m going to start to think you like Catholics better than us (being everyone who isn’t Catholic).

4. Start a letter writing campain to get Jugo Juice or Booster Juice to have drive- thru windows so if I choose to take my kids out, I will not have the guilt of clogging their arteries at such a young age. Oh yeah and play areas for kids in the stores I currently can’t take them in to.

5. Find my stroller, carseat, and sleeping thing for tweedle3 before tweedle 3 comes.

6. A clean living room, kitchen and front hallway. The boys and I have started but Its going to take a while.

7. Someone to come and take away (when it’s ready) my funiture that is still in good enough condition to donate. They don’t need to keep it or store it, I just want them to drop it off. Better yet the person who needs it could come and get it. I’ll leave my door open and you just take what you want. I won’t tell anyone if you won’t.

Thank you for your time and patients. There are more things I would want/ need but as this list is already too long I will have to wait on the others. Thanks again.

Sincerly,

Alyson in Wonderland

Placenta Brain

I seem to be making things up now as well as forgetting things. Lucky me. I wonder if I should change my blog to Alyson in Whiningland because that is all I seem to be in the mood to do right now.